Here’s What Workers
Have to Say.

They need to stop freeloading and pay full price like other paying customers!

I want to hear about more food influencers of colour/of Indigenous roots!!

Entitled + not entirely helpful freeloaders

Tourists

They're mostly useless and parasitic

👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼

I see the influencers as an extension of the bourgeoisie class that exploits this industry.

Bloggers I don't mind as long as it's not stealing or appropriating or a yt person "discovering" POC food.

Often directly benefiting off of diet culture

Poseurs

They bring nothing new or interesting to the table. Just fancier food photos and reels.

At best: Boring normies! At worst: Entitled groupies!

Just say no!

I ignore them because they lack critical insights into basic topics like... food... not everyone but still.

They're a great catalyst for getting people into food & cooking, profesh or 4 fun.

They want free food/drink, don't tip, and expect you to spend all your time waiting on them.

Easy come, easy go. Terrible tippers, free loaders.

They need to start tipping, they never/rarely ever do.

Realize you deserve the same service and treatment as every other guest.

It feels weaponized.

🚨🚨🚨 Entitled and intrusive. Often film or photo ppl without asking for consent for views.

They suck, I'd love to see them TRY to work a week in a restaurant.

The worst guests

Who needs 'em

I get jealous that they're eating and cooking wherever and whatever with little economic penalty.

Influencers 👎 and "critics" 👎 but if you just write about what you like then power to you.

They can all go kick rocks.

I hope it's a fad that will end soon. I'd like to see talent and intelligence in the world again.

Owners were not following/enforcing COVID safety policies and ignored the indoor dining ban.

The lack of consistency and respect.

I couldn't keep working until 5 AM for pay that was just average.

Got fucked over by owners then lectured for an hour about how it was my fault.

Cost them THOUSANDS in missed revenue because people wouldn't come back.

There was no accountability, they had a rat problem, and tip pool was unfairly split, and more.

To go to another one that would pay me more.

Insane hours + responsibilities.

Owners/mgmt berating my team in front of guests. Outing undocumented folks. Etc.

GM took me off schedule after I had a family emergency. He told me to "consider if I wanted to work there."

Abusive owner and the overall toxic environment perpetuated by her.

Overtasked and underpaid. Owners value public perception of sustainability over the staff.

I went to law school.

Unfair treatment — lack of trust, respect, transparency. Also: gaslighting, money owed to me by employer for labor and cost of goods, other staff damaged my personal equipment.

Loved my job & sad for the loss. Owner gave staff COVID, didn't give notice in time to prevent it.

Crazy amounts of food waste and nothing being done about it.

Overwhelmed owner was screaming @ employees. Emotional outbursts were daily.

Unrecognized burnout and lack of empathy from the bosses.

Tasks and stress were far more daunting than in the past and pay dropped significantly.

Pay discrepancy and burnout, baby!!

Got "promoted" but still paid $2.13 even when I wasn't getting tips.

Had a baby & was a single mom w/ limited availability. Owner/managers became hostile.

I left the hospitality industry altogether because of this.

Toxic ownership.

Tired of doing two people's jobs for half the pay and none of the credit.

Abusive hours and abusive treatment from the Bev Director that the company would not fix.

My boss had no empathy for most of us.

To move into mgmt. That sucked, so I'm back behind the bar!

Owner fired my co-manager via text in the midst of a fight. So I quit.

Emotionally exhausted, needed a change.

Toxic Management.

The reward for hard work is more hard work. The body eventually burns out.

I moved. The one before that though was an abusive environment.

To attempt to cease using alcohol.

No PTO/health benefits /: The pay was really fair too. Wish it could have worked out.

I wasn't allowed to take a break even though the law gives me one.

2 jobs ago: Wouldn't allow 2 days off in a row and insisted on working close/open shifts.

Last one due to petty, inept mgmt. Never put out a schedule. Ever! Honor system to show up.

I was on salary and making less than people I was managing.

Constantly felt unheard when bringing up legitimate issues they weren't willing to address!

Burnt out and moral injury.

No Social Security, they avoided taxes, long shifts, low salary, toxic owners, classist customers....

New bartender on acid & stealing tips. Mgmt rather "talk to him" because they liked his "presence" in otherwise all-fem staff.

Say you're literally gonna pee your pants.

Wave our union contract around :)

I burst into tears.

After checking in with my teammates, I straight up tell management, I don't ask.

Mgmt should proactively mandate breaks to everyone so folx feel empowered to manage their health.

I agree with the person who said breaks should be mandated! We shouldn't have to advocate for them. But I always end up going through teammates or peers (laterally) gather them up.

Drop everything once I'm at a good stopping point. The work can wait.

Ask.

"Just wanted to let you know I haven't had my break yet. My shift ends at this time."

"Hey_ has my section. I'm taking 15."

If the restaurant doesn't plan for that and set that time aside they're trash.

By paying me a living wage and honoring my availability.

Listen to us and trust us.

By reaching out not only when they need me.

By getting an actual break for a meal, a drink of water, a moment to rest my feet.

By talking to us instead of making decisions for us when they don't even work on site.

Allowing changes from the bottom up and respecting my availability/work life balance.

Allowing growth within the company and matching my growth in pay.

By acknowledging my concerns the first time I voice them.

Paying a wage comparable to skill level and hours worked, incentives for additional work.

Showing interest in your personal life outside of work and being curious about u!!!

Weekly or bi-weekly 1 on 1s.

Buy some pizza.

Free: acting and treating us like professionals and adults.

Not free: living wages, benefits, perks (like free food/drink off menu, not garbage staff meal).

Bonus: child care stipends, dining out stipends, R&D $$.

If you ever raise a concern they remind you that you are easily replaced while simultaneously referring to you as family if they need something. Can be very abusive.

By 1 - raising worker wage to full minimum for two weeks, 2 - taking our tips, 3 - giving back a tiny %.

If by interchangeable you mean replaceable: Low pay, few/no benefits, talking down to etc etc.

If you mean adaptable: cross training on stations, menu changes, guest mods/requests.

LOL employers/chefs saying "you're replaceable" every day.

Boss tells guests he could run the restaurant himself (four of us work 100 hour weeks).

Not recognizing or rewarding work at standard or above and beyond. No incentives for hardworking staff in a pooled house with inconsistent standards.

Excessive turnover being a "just part of the business."

Expectations of experience turning into bad training.

"You don't want this job, I can find someone else."

The at-will law doesn't help. Just snip the problem hairs and get new ones.

Having hours taken away after taking time off for illness, family issues or a loved one passing.

As a manager all I do is correct mistakes but I'm not allowed to make any of my own.

Because it's all most people know, understand, can manage.

BC u have to believe something is possible 4 it to be. Most rests dont/cant/wont.

Simple, command and control. It's autocratic, it's time limiting, it's narrow sighted and less autonomy.

All business does this. Not unique to restaurants.

To keep workers from strengthening themselves as a true team.

If owners/managers don't care to participate in systems why should anyone else?

I feel as tho nondemocratic structures are common in the US, but it makes the exploitation easier.

I tried participating in this system as a manager and it made me hate my life. I think I have a learned response of conflict avoidance that made me ill suited to the position to begin with, but it also highlighted that I really don't believe in hierarchical decision making systems especially in work environments. I can't say I have a comprehensive response in how to enact a different system in food service for the majority of my life. I've never seen a different model. But I've seen managers with different, more inclusive attitudes towards their employees and I know that some businesses exist under a democratic model where all employees have a say in company management. This is what I believe is ideal. So to answer your question: I think really it's out of laziness. I think most people begin new businesses with good intentions but with a capitalistic mindset that ultimately benefits/honors a small number of people.

I recently went from the style of hierarchy to a more equitable where all of front of house makes the same amount of wages and tips per shift (everyone from back waters, to bartenders, to hosts). The culture is so different and there is so much less bad blood between the FOH staff. We feel more accountable to each other, not just management. It's possible to make policies like this and create a system that is more beneficial and empowering to the staff, but many restaurants/bars act like it can't/won't work and cite the industry standard of hierarchy. My new job isn't perfect but its infinitely less toxic and infantilizing than other structures I've experienced.

Because leadership don't really want to be subject to the policies they create.

Because some supervisors/managers "didn't like" how something was done before. Considering how it works and its application in the restaurant.

I'd like to think top-down models for creating & enforcing policies are in their final days. It's a broken system that gives ownership/management a monopoly on decision making which, as we've seen repeatedly, is not sustainable. "Because I said so" is no longer the final word. Just because it's the way things have always been done doesn't mean it's been working for everyone. The individuals on the receiving end of these out-of-touch policies have valuable insight to contribute to the conversation. But that would require ownership/management who wants to create space for that conversation. Luckily, we're at a time in the industry where there's more and more examples every day of more equitable/effective ways of operating.

I think a lot of owners/managers are too lazy/scared to make changes. They can blame it on slim margins, but ultimately this is a system that's beneficial to them. If the hourly employees are at each others throats and put down then they can operate without accountability for themselves. There's a lot of work to be done to building equitable spaces in hospitality, and a lot of the "old guard" will have to be moved out of the way to get there.

If you don't have money or access to capital you won't be able to set your own agenda.

Not promoting from within an establishment!

Only giving certain "approved" people opportunities or exposure.

You've not paid your dues yet.

Stages. Having to work for free just to get a job!!!

Purposely keeping people in low level positions. Refusing to train lower level folks (barbacks, bussers, porters) to keep hierarchy in place and stagnant, so those on the top can profit. The fact that you can work years in bottom tier positions with knowledge and skill just outside your reach, which is used as an excuse not to promote you/pay you more. This especially works against marginalized folks navigating the industry. It can be so hard to move up even as an establishment touts itself for hiring you so they can have a staff that appears diverse and inclusive. The wage gap is astonishingly pronounced in the service industry for this reason also. And it's why we see less women behind the bar and on the line.

Zero transparency, no resources/information sharing.

More experience/knowledge/efficiency not leading to an equal occurrence of internal promotions for BIPOC or females (or LGBTQ & especially any who sit at the intersection of those) as compared to white males. White male managers will almost always choose white male workers for those roles regardless of qualifications. The white women who do make it to management feel a compulsion to treat white women how they were treated in their coming-up—horribly, and others even worse. Both white men and white women will ignore or even actively try to "force-quit" workers who are not white, or are otherwise marginalized (and therefore too much potential trouble).

Having high expectations but not coaching/training your staff. Reporting in bad faith re: jr staff.

Not creating ways to move up in the business yet capitalizing on #diversity in media comms.

Flexibility to get errands done, but zero stability to plan for the future (like therapy or doctors appointments).

Con: can never plan more than a couple days in advance, lack of stability.

Pros: errands in off hours, time to go to the doctor or do other daytime only necessities.

Like things being quiet when I'm free. Hate that I never see friends.

This works against anyone with a family.

When it's done right it provides flexibility for personal life. Done wrong you get shift work disorder.

Good: can have flexible sched. Bad: No end in sight for shifts since the hours are so flexible.

I think variable hours are good for people who don't rely on consistent income. That's it.

They're esp good for musicians/artists w/ a lot of requests off & would lose shifts.

Benefitted: able to run errands, some time after or before for groceries etc. Harmed: sleep/eating schedule doesn't exist, getting off at later hours often encourages going to bar, often feel like you wake up to go to work.

Supports the cult of personality/celebrity that people (men) are tortured geniuses.

It hasn't. But I'm sure profits are made @ the expense of wellbeing, being unsafe to speak up...

Take our frustrations out on each other rather than the shitty customer who caused it.

Avoids conflict and maintains the status quo—real change is hard work, not worth the effort to some.

It's abuse. The abused over achieves and over works and over extends themselves to try and make their abuser happier/nice, instead of demanding better pay/environment.

Keeps employees too scared to ask for anything.

Not holding accountable = not needing to replace abusive management level employees.

Submissive (& scared) workers are easier to exploit.

It allows for racism, misogyny and ableism to thrive under the guise of industry norms.

Exploiting human beings' sense of worth to justify low wages.

Maintaining the business as usual. It's pretty brutal.

The industry doesn't benefit. It normalizes verbal abuse in particular.

Used to! Because it felt like they needed me for it to run smoothly. Changed jobs. Now it's more understanding. Cause COVID & it's a corporate place.

Someone else who is already at capacity has to do extra work.

Years of hearing people say things along the lines of "they're probably not even sick" has me doubting if I am actually sick enough.

I used to. I was made to feel like I'm screwing over the restaurant by trying to take care of my health.

Fear of rejection. Being told or having people think I'm not good enough or a team player.

Yes, because I know what it's like when my coworkers don't/can't show up.

Yes because I know when I get back things won't have gotten done.

Yes because my tasks won't be done when I come in after I'm better.

Always always always because I have been conditioned to.

YES I know how stretched thin everyone already is even without an additional absence.

Yes because you know other people have to work harder in your team.

Nope. I feel relief.

Ppl not believing you're sick, putting the burden of more work on ppl, no PTO.

I used to. Also, I would be paranoid that someone knew. Learned to let that go.

I should have taken the day off when the doctor's office called and told me I had precancerous cells, but so much pressure to be there for my team.

I don't remember the last time I called in sick except for when I had a broken ankle. Maybe 2017 — wasn't physically ill but did have a nervous breakdown.

My job can technically be done remotely so I feel like I can't call in sick and have never done it.

Chronic illness means ppl always perceived me as doing it "too much."

Enforcing closing times. Maybe even do a 15min last call for food as well as drinks. BOH and FOH are human too and deserve to go home after a hard day.

You can't always have exactly what you want. The space is ours and what we have to offer is what we have.

Kitchen last calls.

Smaller more consistent menus (more options isn't always better) with a minimalist seasonal menu.

We want to go home early! Short work hours but more wages!

Gotta start changing the "customer is always right" mentality. We are the food experts, trust us the same way you would an expert in any other field.

Arrange with rests' neighbors if you don't have an accessible washroom to use theirs too.

Table QR codes for menu easy accessibility c/o many apps that help with different needs.

Not be open 7 days a week all day.

Change expectations. They are not always right. While it is good to make sure that they have a great experience, it shouldn't be at the employee's expense. Respecting staff is important.

Treat the experience (reciprocally) as if they are a guest at our own home. As in, I want to ensure that they are happy, comfortable, welcomed, safe, etc.

Also, unrelated but keeping the water topped up! Less hangover = better experience.

Also (haha sorry) safer spaces policies are really great for setting collective expectations.

Not allowing massive parties/volume to overwhelm the kitchen & staff by pairing down.

Checking in with coworkers when they're in the weeds. Being the "calm" one when there's drama.

Staying calm when coworkers are getting flustered/short tempered so as to not escalate things.

Patience and deescalation.

As a femme person, lots of things. Shaping myself into something that will be taken seriously but not perceived as unemployable, someone who can hold their own but still be gentle/kind. Constantly stressing about how I come off to others without taking up space. The labor is constant and not reciprocal and feels unshouldered by men.

Managing my white coworkers' feelings when I experience racism.

Knowledge being ignored due to seniority & the pure fact I'm female.

Staying positive and fun. Being the "good vibes" person is not as easy as it seems.

Being the "employee of the year" for doing the work everyone else should be.

Communicating that our team lacks the tools we need to be successful due to ineffective leadership in my department.

Navigating around the chefs' moods.

Being the go-to injury carer cause all the guys in the kitchen "don't like blood."

Just keeping it together. Period.

Being the vocal advocate for my coworkers regarding wage/mistreatment.

Receiving people's anger/entitlement; colleagues clashing, personalities and work styles.

Having to hold in my anger and frustration without an outlet to express it at work.

Problem solving when others panic.

Taking on emotional baggage from mgmt or abuse from guests and being unable to relieve that stress until the end of the night or when I get home. = alcholism

Anticipating/managing needs/energy of guests, coworkers, mgmt, etc. aka higher vigilance.

Managing the emotional responses to fair requests from burnt out managers and owners.

Supporting coworkers' anger towards the boss to make strike happen in the future.

As a manager, learning to flip personality, switch with all 43 of my staff BOH and FOH.

Trying to support everyone all the time.

Ensuring the staff feels dignified and respected (by clientele) in the work they do.

Supporting/carrying all the newbies b/c I'm the only 1 left after all the turnover and we still need to complete the same amount of work in the same amount of time.

Managing emotions of chefs/sous chefs. Finding delicate ways to coax owners into pro-employee practices. Keeping my team uplifted and motivated. Managing guests' expectations and talking them down when they're not met.

Male coworkers asking why I look angry all the time. Expecting me to be cheerful and friendly with them.

I work in a predominantly female kitchen and it rocks.

How much time do you have? It's huge. I think of every person who looks at me and asks to see the "chef."

Women are often dismissed no matter their experience or the situation.

Every time someone asks to see the manager and I'm like it's me and they look around.

The number of times I have to repeat myself before my male superiors listen whether it's a fact, a plan, or asking them to do something.

As a female there is little room for error, I feel like I have to be perfect to be respected.

Guys are afraid to say the wrong thing around me so they act pretty fake and it's obvi.

Depends on whose paying for them and if they're flattering/comfortable.

Such an antiquated way of stripping identity from people.

I love not having to decide what to wear. But I loathe being told down to the color of sock (let me pick!).

Hate em bc they inevitably leave some identity/body type out, "dress code" slightly better.

I hate them. Especially if we have to pay for them/upkeep.

But also hate when they say wear anything but then discriminate body types wearing the same thing.

It should just be "all black everything." Super easy to clean and hides stains.

They should be abolished. A guideline on how to dress is ok but like... let people be themselves.

Hate them!

HATE.

Chef coats are notoriously too hot and shit quality, only given a couple, expected to wash.

Depends on if they're comfortable and cute enough.

Grateful I don't have to wear one.

Most of them are uncomfortable or impractical for the work we do.

And dress codes are notoriously sexist, racist, and ignore many types of bodies.

Whenever I had to wear fancy uniforms, I've been serving guests in a v casual dress, so y?

I like them because I don't like wearing my "real clothes" to work but prefer a general guideline. Something like "wear a black blouse and black pants or wear a blue suit."

Company issued uniforms suck — and if your company requires them you better provide them for free.

I hate when I have to buy a specific vest or whatever and it's $90 coming out of my first check.

Black pants/black shirt, easy upkeep, people can find a size/style/price that works for them.

Uniforms (employer-provided) make life a little easier.

In-person training, consistent check ins/reinforcing standards.

Hands-on training. I can't focus by just watching someone else do thing.

Paper resources that I can access on my own time! Esp menu specific/dietary info.

Hands on learning. Also, opportunity for off-site learning from purveyors/suppliers etc.

There needs to be supervisor/manager training. Someone may be good at their job, but not at managing people/personalities which is important.

Also being able to have an environment safe for neurodivergent people.

Menu tasting!!! I need to see and taste to sell! Details resources I can access easily.

Hands on learning, I don't do well just being told or watching. I need to actually practice myself.

Tasting is definitely the best way to learn coupled with taking notes/a method that works best for you.

In person and tasting.

Mgr perspective- support from GM/Owners to have time to actually meaningfully train. It's legit my fav part of my job/something I HATED not having when I was hourly. But often I don't have the time and resources to do it well.

In-person training FOR SURE.

Hands-on. Show instead of tell.

Hands-on learning and explaining the "why" of shared systems.

Regular tastings! Informative and delicious.

Any kind with follow-through, don't just throw me to the wolves.

So uncomfortable.

Overwhelmed. We went 0-60 & there's been no talk of variants or non vaxed people at work.

Stressed.

Overwhelmed from going from to-go orders to everyone and their mamma dining.

Definitely not the good feelings they want me to have.

GREAT!

Slapped in the face. Followed all the rules for over a year just for them to say fuck it.

Zero consideration or conversations about unvaxxed people who don't have a choice.

We polled the team- FOH still masking for a while yet, BOH unmask if vaxxed.

"Honor system" vax status for customers, people were nasty when we tried to still require.

Not really ok. Most places are going by the "honor system" and aren't checking if people are vaxed.

Most people (including a coworker of mine) don't honor the honor system.

I feel good knowing I'm vaccinated, still fearing for my children.

Ok on the patio. Indoors is risky with Delta rising. Wish our Govt waited longer to reopen dining.

Hasn't happened here quite yet but I am nervous/anxious/excited and preemptively tired.

It's going to be hard to turn off the instincts I've made in the past year. We had to be so vigilant.

Like I still need a mask.

Like white people feel elitist and they never have to wear a mask again.

It makes me sick how people are treating the past year like an inconvenience to their "normal" lives.

Tired.

Confused.

Our whole team is vaccinated so I feel pretty good and also we have to trust why we got it.

Happy but hesitant.

Like all the disability justice convos at the beginning of the pandemic went out the window.

At the beginning of the pandemic "we're all so connected with this struggle." now ppl getting access to vaccines forgot service workers don't get benefits.

So many service workers are undocumented and have no safety net.

AZ governor banned business from requiring vaccines + masks so not great.

Overwhelmed.

Only 45% of Philly is actually vaxxed & I don't trust maskless morons so I'll be MASKED UP.

ANXIOUS AF.

I'm not undocumented but currently somewhat due to immigration delays in Canada. I have no valid health card (so unsure if I'll be able to access healthcare or get proof of vaccination card.) I have no work permit while I wait for a new one, and when I do mine is tied to the business I work for. So if anything bad happens I am beholden to my employer (who is being really unsupportive atm). It's incredibly stressful and so disheartening and only a drop in the ocean compared to undocumented folks.

I have no idea but I'm secretly terrified.

Not ready yet.

DISAPPOINTED.

Nop.

I'll just say that bereavement pay should be a law.

When your managers and owners are incompetent or just do not care.

I've seen several panic attacks.

On the way out of pandemic—a ton of pressure to make the margins.

(1) Everyone was calling out and us salary people had to fill several roles.

(2) A few times I was making sandwiches, expo'ing and pulling and shaking fries. And I'm a GM.

Warlord was sooo toxic. Trevor the chef did terrible things to his staff.

Yeah you watch a coworker start to decline and tell the owner/manager and they blow it off...

Good managers were understanding but sadly exclusion of the rule.

Let's just say that HR is not your friend, asking for help got me 86'd and blacklisted.

I was fired from two different jobs because my performance "declined"...

...while my teenage daughter was going through mental breakdowns.

I was clearly not myself, the first job knew the second didn't but also never asked what was going on 🤷🏻‍♀️

Brushed over/ignored substance use issues. Bad for the individual, compounds on team.

Stifles my creativity, doesn't leave me with enough personal time 2 enjoy life outside of work.

Honestly has led me much further left and encouraged me to advocate for myself/others !!

But also ... body hurts ... all the time ...

It's really hard to be physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy and work in hospitality.

Not having health insurance provided for—but then expected to show up fully functional.

I need to recover physically from my 9h shifts waiting on 60/80 people...

...without breaks, and I am way less social on my days off because I need quiet time...

...and interacting with people feels like a chore.

I have an injury from work that I'll now have to navigate for the rest of my life.

At my old place I would want to be left alone. Now, I'm happy to socialize.

It's incredibly dehumanizing. People feel entitled to every part of you.

AND, at times, I see the best in people. I get to connect when people choose kindness +amp; grace.

Love it but is the least disability friendly and least understanding career path. Had to leave 😢

It allows me enough flexibility to raise my family. But, I'm not the breadwinner, not even close.

Feels like a passion project. Mental/financial struggles. But I wouldn't want anything else.

Dehydrated, lifeless, & drained.

I put other people's needs before my own by default. Working on that though!

A chronic pain condition, and an inability to be fined "skilled" labor jobs (aka corporate jobs).

The inability to practise healthy routines (eating, sleeping, exercising, socializing).

No weekends... means no social life.

When you work for cult mentality places like Warlord you forget your self worth.

A job for kids.

"Not a real job."

Easy.

Not as important.

I feel like some customers either pity and/or look at us like lower-class citizens.

We're just there to serve them. They don't care about us.

"Omg is it really like The Bear?"

Like it's only something I do for fun.

As a phase. It's not a phase, it was never a phase.

Not respectable, poor and menial.

"So fun!" 😵‍💫

Most seem to view me as an NPC otherwise it's a temp job or unskilled labour.

Uneducated.

There are people who will think of you as talented but those same people will look down on people who do the same thing you do.....but in different circumstances (high end restaurants vs. grocery stores). Cooking food is cooking food is cooking food. We all deserve respect for providing food for people who don't know how to or don't want to cook for themselves.

That it takes no skill to be a server. It falls into the ven diagram of unpaid labor/skills that women do.

A hobby.

They see you as an anomaly... js.

My neighbor (same building/similar income) said it was "cute."

Unintelligent/unschooled lower class/immigrants here to serve those who have "real jobs."

Love.

Listens to employees.

Being able to hear feedback or constructive criticism from workers and not get defensive.

Someone who RESPECTS YOU AS A HUMAN BEING.

Communication. Can give you feedback (esp. bad feedback) and you still walk out feeling supported.

Empathy and humility. Too many egotistical and incompetent managers!

Being a leader and protecting your staff.

Kindness. Not being nice but being kind!!!

Follows labor laws and cares about employees.

Empathy. The kind where they know every position they are managing back and forth.

Proactive instead of reactive leadership, also thinking ahead, also also developing employees' skills.

One that works for the employees and not the boss.

Someone who believes you over the customers.

Empathy, accountability, respecting of your time and who you are outside of work.

Not forgetting where they started, and gatekeeping the secrets of for progression.

Investing in your team.

Someone whose committed to the liberation of BIPOC & the working class.

"We're family here."

No transparency with tip out. Especially noticeable frustration from mgmt re: $.

Constantly hiring = high staff turnover.

Immediate start date, no talk of benefits like insurance.

High staff turnover.

Unpaid stages.

Compensation confidentiality agreements in handbook.

No HR! Even tho HR protects the biz, usually less harm happens when it's present.

First time owner opening a new restaurant.

No bar manager but head bartender who is in the limbo of responsibilities with no 💰/hr.

Only male management.

Stories of retaliation when ask questions about tips.

Too many pizza parties 😂

All white FOH.

Private listings.

The owner not being present.

Can you start today?

"What's your marital status, are you planning on having kids soon or at all?"

Not showing up on time/or at all! I walked out once because she was a half hour late.

If anyone yells I just walk away. We can talk when you calm down. Set your boundaries early!

Be a bitch and always make them make you food! 🥰🫡😋

Men are gonna hate you regardless of how "chill" you are. Might as well be assertive.

Any signs of not communicating properly are called out immediately.

Don't. Find spaces that actively include and protect women or you will always be disposable.

TAKE NO BULLSHIT AND BE KIND.

Pay attention. There's a reason there aren't many women there even if they aren't aware of it.

I just got hired and left my last job and two weeks later they closed. I felt really sad and lost.

Local Foods closed their retail exactly like this and screwed all their workers over.

Still in therapy processing the loss. Betrayal is a big word that comes to mind.

Yes.

It made me very angry and depressed and it took me years to recover.

Not allowing me to eat or drink water in the sight of guests.

Not giving PTO. How are we supposed to rest without going broke?

Using a separate elevator exclusively for staff.

Expecting you to check your personal hardships "at the door."

Expected to still be nice to drunk men sexually harassing me.

Got fired when I was in rehab.

Not allowing me to go to the bathroom to change my tampon!

Acting like voicing your needs is you being a bad/"difficult" employee.

Expecting a no-break, no water, no food shift as the norm.

In any other field if I worked 10 years I'd be a master. In food I'm just not taken seriously.

Implying that on a day I was having car trouble, instead of calling out 1 day to get my car fixed so that it was permanently usable, I should've put the repair off and taken over $70 in Ubers to get to a brunch shift where I only regularly made $50 because "this is a family and if family members can't count on us what are we really worth?" This would also have put me in a position where I had to Uber ($$$$) to work every day for a week before I had a day off to get it fixed. I had never called out before.

Feeling useless cause they always ask for more :(

Bosses insisting they are not racist or do not have unconscious bias; 1/2

Failing to recognize white privilege; not taking actionable steps to reflect on privilege 2/2.

Not allowing me to run to the bathroom during service.

Adding new tasks without any further compensation. Embracing a hustle culture.

Asking for a break to take care of your period but are denied. So you bleed out on the line. Smdh.

Using a separate (disgusting) bathroom away from guests.

AS LONG AS I AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON THE GRILL BURNING MY ASS IS LEAVING TO CHANGE MY TAMPON. This is nuts. 😞

Telling me I need to tell managers or other staff if I'm going to use the bathroom.

Telling me to go faster when we are going as humanly fast as we can. All for shitty hot chicken in LA.

Misogyny.

ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT. I am never bleeding, nor pissing, nor shitting on myself for a paycheck.

Don't ask permission, ask forgiveness (the idea that the boss won't take your ideas).

Giving manager feedback or providing insight on service can result in retaliation.

Don't tell anyone you're also having sex with the boss.

You are a second class citizen to customers.

Not a rule but we all think the owners are total tool douche bags.

Never say anything negative about the owners, even if you are just stating a fact or a factual observation. I don't trust anyone I work with.

Don't be a pussy/little bitch. Makes it hard to ask for help. The toxic masculinity 😩

Straight femme women are allowed to pass off work to queer women and NBs.

"Tips before respect." Even if a client was abusive. This was actually hell.

If you're brown you'll have to say an idea (same one a yt person has) 3x before it gets heard.

If you're brown, you're BOH.

Nepotism. If you're not the favorite server(s) you're cut first. Including all SA/support.

Certain coworkers don't have to pull their weight. I have to pull their weight and mine 🙃

The bosses have different standards for everyone and we aren't treated fairly.

Mgmt and coworkers getting upset I brought it up bc they "don't want to think about it."

Manager said "there is Hamas protest." all the time.

Somewhat positively, allowing later in times to attend protests.

It hasn't. And that is super messed up. They don't want to hear about it.

Closed one day for global strike.

It's the one political conversation they downplay cause "it's too complicated."

During TCI training. It's inappropriate when working with at risk youth.

To bring up divisive topics that can create violence among the participants.

When I asked the crew if they wanted to strike for Palestine an employee responded ...

FOH folks nervous about business being vocal pro-P.

I've gotten positive feedback from guests about the 🇵🇸 pin I wear.

Bosses aren't absolved of accountability.

Success is measured by so many other metrics than money.

My greatest wish that I write in my manifestation journal is being able to quit this job.

It's almost busy season, I will seek improvements either here or somewhere else.

I need money 🤑

Never forget that you wouldn't be here without your staff.

Please listen to me when I tell you there's a problem instead of ignoring me and then tagging me in an email later talking abt the problem as if u discovered it just now.

The problem isn't work ethic, the problem IS compensation.

I think I said enough in my Eater interviews.

Chasing Michelin/Beard awards is not more important than the well being of your staff.

I know what I'm doing!!!

Your ego is not more important than my humanity.

Stop pretending that you working and actually do some work.

It's time to retire.

Why are you not de-escalating the guests when they complain about prices?

Make annoying tourists take a shot of Malort.

Am way2 hyper focused on my checks so I can make sure I'm getting EVERY CENT I'M OWED.

Can't wake up before noon.

Make significantly less than FOH but work more hours, still can't afford health insurance.

Wipe the bathroom countertop before I exit.

...cried in the walk-in before!

Argue about who goes first. After you! No no, after you! I insist!

Haven't eaten yet today.

Can't afford the restaurant I work at.

I wake up before my alarm because of my anxiety of work.

Always apologizing to FOH workers on my day off when I need something.

Fucking hate everyone.

Can't enjoy myself when I'm dining out because I'm too busy criticizing the service.

Take care of everyone else before I take care of myself.

Say yes chef when my friends ask me if I can do them a favour.

Comment on any little inter-staff drama I'm picking up on. I'm fun to dine with.

Get excited when my favorite workers are scheduled with me.

Dates other service industry people hoping this time they won't be assholes 😂

Eat over trash cans and sinks.

Have no Tupperware, only delis.

Eat my food way too quickly even when I'm at home.

Only drink out of delis at home.

Befriend the kitchen in the hopes of free fries.

Forgot to fire that table's food.

Yes. And if you answered no go relook at your paystubs. Keep track of tips and hours.

Yes—managers were skimming off the top cash tips at the end the night...

100 percent.

I'm currently at a restaurant that auto takes out .5h breaks even if we don't take them.

Owner labeled a mngr as "flex" and tipped them out. Mgmt can't be in the tip pool. 1/2

Happy ending, an employee sued and won. 2/2

Yes, in many ways. % of my gratuity being taken by owner to pay Square fees, mandatory "uniform fee," etc.

YES—mgmt changing hours, skimming tips, expecting free labor, etc.

Would have unpaid breaks deducted regardless of whether or not I took one 🫠

Yes: owners taking tips, unpaid stages, being forced to pay for "family meal."

Not being scheduled enough time to open, not being paid to complete mandatory tests.

A certain F&B group now requires a min 5day/50hr work week for salaried managers. 1/1

With the expectation that it may exceed 50hrs and 5 days with no OT.

Yes! Found out owner adjusted everyone's in/out times retroactively.

Shitty thing is, we've actually got decent managers. 1/3

I happily shared my tips w my trainee because training pay wasn't enough.

I feel like that is the standard for most salaried managers in the industry now. I've worked in LA, San Diego and Chicago as a manager and it's just long hours. I had a place in San Diego that "freaked the numbers" so I had to go into overtime to reach my salary goal. It was like $18 an hour and once I went into overtime that's how I was able to make my salary.

When I was a green GM I was trained to trim the punch in 5 min here, 10 min there.

To meet my labour costs.

Yes, and a co-worker reported (and we protected their ID) and we all got paid out.

Is being forced to pay for family legal?

This was something that happened at Hampton Social in Skokie—one chef would charge, but it's in the budget to have a family meal and other chefs would cook accordingly. This industry has some fools giving us a bad name.

I'm working through chronic pain daily & trying to keep up with the simplest of tasks.

They are replaceable 😇

Managers can do those pointless tasks that are delegated to hourly workers 👀

Physically disabled people have a place in the kitchen & hospitality industry.

You just a manager, stop protecting only the business.

You're doing too much. Delegate the easy things so you can tackle the hard ones.

Also, most of us aren't stupid.

We can see you pretending to be busy yet doing nothing. You're just in the way.

We're done w/ mental health *awareness*, we need paid time off to care for ourselves.

Strong leaders are transactional and transformative, do both.

Menus with no prices listed online.

Serving high quality food to guests, while employees get low quality, cheap food. Or (1)

Sometimes not even being able to stop for the sake of the guests and a smooth service (2)

The manner in which the customer hands you their credit card.

No respect or courtesy from guests whatsoever.

White managers being paid more than brown managers.

Dress codes.

The use of separate elevators or entrances for staff and for guests, even during closed hrs.

Guest bathrooms vs employee bathrooms that are in the same room as the septic tank.

Lot's of other states have done this! It's good for everybody that labors.

Increases state average salaries at a corporate level too! Rising tides.

I'm in restaurant industry because tips help surviving.

At the restaurant I work, they're going to use subminimum tipping as excuse to ✂️ labor.

Might prevent over staffing the lower wage employees but reduce tips?

ASAP.

The restaurant biz model is broken, the sooner the industry pays real wages, the better.

I fear it'll be used to abolish tipping and my overall wage will drop tremendously.

"Punny" cocktail and dish names are rampant with AAVE and Asian appropriative terms.

Items based on tired racial stereotypes instead of in-depth research and practice/training.

FOH being all white and BOH being majority nonwhite.

Tipping culture.

GM saying that we need to have more "attractive" hostess and bartender... disgusting.

By staying silent.

By defending the indefensible (owners and managers).

Brown people do the work (get no credit). European/white chef name on the menu/articles, etc.

The tipping system.

Lazy food & Bev pairings that generalize a whole continent or country's cuisine.

If Black femme disagree or speak up they are quickly labeled "angry Black woman."

Putting BIPOCs in mgmt only to open them up to more scrutiny.

FOH is mostly white and Latino (and a lot of them are support staff).

White chef owners co-opting global cuisine.

The hierarchy of the kitchen & FOH.

Only white in more managerial roles. Not a single white in blue collar role. All people of colour.

FOH "appearance policies" (tend to not be supportive of Black hairstyles).

By keeping white people, mostly men, in the FOH & management positions!

The fact that I've never worked with a visibly disabled person.

The "stylish" chairs are AWFUL and uncomfortable for anyone who isn't thin & able-bodied.

No chairs/sitting for employees in guest-facing areas/elevator usage limited to guests only.

They treat every accommodation for a guest as an opportunity to "go the extra..."

...inconvenient.

I was fired literal days after asking for ADA accommodations.

Not acknowledging chronic illness, shaming chronic illness.

Being expected to stand for sometimes 12 hrs at a time.

In the job post itself—must be able to lift 50 lbs, stand for 12+ hours, everyone accepts it.

Boys club.

Wmn are passed over for upper mgmt roles & promotions, clueless men are handed them.

Human reactions are handled differently depending on whether you are a man or...

...a woman. Men can throw a full on tantrum and totally fly under the radar while women...

...would be told to hold it together simply for being a bit flustered or not smiling.

For starters, I've worked in a bar that started allowing female bartenders in ✨️2017✨️

I think the real question is how do you stop it.

Femme line cooks usually sent to garmo or pastry.

Management not believing harassment claims.

Being asked when my women coworkers plan on getting pregnant by higher ups.

Letting people get groped by customers and coworkers.

The amount of emotional labor women have to do to navigate coworkers' emotions and lack of coping mechanisms.

Assuming host is a women's job also, devaluing host/maître d's by calling them hostess.

Positions and titles manner, so gendering a role is so unnecessary.

The stark gender divide between FOH and BOH.

Letting a dude go home early bc headache meanwhile I just birthed a blood clot in my pants.

Alcohol overuse.

Letting men gossip about femme coworkers and taking it as facts.

Wage gaps for all women, but especially women of color.

Men are in charge, they support each other, refuse to listen to anyone else.

All of that. This box is too small to say everything.

I would say emotionally, which then leads to physical/mental impact. It's all connected.

All the above which is why I have a therapist, psychiatrist, physical therapist...etc.

All.

Physically and emotionally, at the end of my shifts I have nothing left.

Mentally which turns into physically.

Emotionally. Managing guests emotions, loud music, coworker relationships.

Just had a 2nd herniated disc surgery & about to have partial knee replacement so...

I'd say it has significantly impacted every single area of my life. Esp after 27 yrs.

Both but I feel emotionally is harder to recover from.

We have to pick one?

All of it at different level at different times. I've been out of BOH for a year and a half and I'm still reconciling several work habits I picked up in my office.

All the above, this job is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.

Spiritually.

Mentally.

After now having gone through school and onto 10+ years in the industry, existentially?

Mental.

When I get home & lay in my bed, feet throbbing & mind racing I realize it's all of them.

All.

Hurt—we are all real humans with real, dynamic human experiences! Compassion is 🔑

It helps to keep a professional mindset, although it's not always possible, stay positive at best.

Hurt.

Both. It's not about you it's about the service but team morale is real.

This expectation is dehumanizing.

Both. Sometimes you need the distraction, sometimes it feels like you are forced to swallow it.

Hurt.

Hurt.

Hurts. Esp when the person telling you also screams at everyone at the kitchen.

Hurt.

Help—it's unfair to other employees to let things outside of work affect them as well.

I should clarify with the option of PTO when ur unable to leave emotions at the door.

Hurt.

Hospitality is an emotional act. Any managers who say this are assholes.

Absolutely fucking hurt. I'm a human not a robot 🤖

Hurt!!! How can we do emotional labor without our emotions????

Hurt 💯

I leave mine at the door because sometimes I welcome the distraction of work...

...bosses never apply what they preach because you know when they're in a bad mood.

Really seems you only have to ask this from others when you can't manage your own 🤔

Toxic. Outside of employment, the expectation to ignore your emotional state is abusive.

The slavish devotion the brigade system.

When your boss tells you not to talk about pay, even tho that's illegal 👀

Throwing female line cooks on garmo bc they're ✨️ girls ✨️

Right now the biggest bully wins unfortunately.

Not hiring women, POC into higher positions other then cooks, or floor managers.

No shift break.

Restaurants—and hospitality more broadly—are the leading edge of class warfare.

Relegating people when they speak up. I was a GM yet they threw me on the line.

Getting yelled at for arriving on time instead of intuiting to arrive early.

Point system for tipping FOH staff.

Not giving raises.

FOH being paid tips and earning more than the BOH in half the amount of time worked.

Managers not reporting harassment cases brought by staff.

FOH point system, managers feel like they're being fair w/o actual equity/transparency.

Gatekeeping. Nepotism and favoritism.

Micromanagement removing room for independence and critical thought.

Holy crap, the misogyny towards femme BOH—I could do a TED talk.

How stress affects your physical health.

BOH vs FOH—it's so toxic.

Ok specifically the difference in standards between FOH and BOH at the same jobs. But also BOH in the different levels of dining. I could go on for hours about the gendered codes though tbh across the board in the industry.

Misogyny. Working for managers who never wanted to be or care to be managers.

Work life balance.

The toxic mentality that if you are not suffering for your work then you are not doing enough.

Why do you hate making staff meal so much??

Substance abuse—we lose so many amazing folks to it & still folks don't question drugs on the line.

That you deserve to be yelled at because that's how you'll learn.

That asking questions does not make you less valuable or annoying.

That teaching w/ empathy & understanding will be far more impactful than yelling & berating.

That how could we apply horizontal hierarchy in the kitchen as a team?

"Language barriers"—if folk can travel across a border/continent, pick up English. You can learn their language.

Pastry cook at Nico Osteria. Never been as poor, overworked, exhausted, and miserable since.

Being "in charge" when I was present but no actual work support behind it (or pay raise).

Hosting. People have a special kind of impatience towards hosts I tell you.

Prep sous—I had to get in two hours before I was allowed to clock in because of 1/2

The volume of work and I only had a third of a table for 150+ covers nightly. In addition to 2/3

In addition to work environment being massively toxic at s.k.y 3/3.

Inside expo. Shitty attitude FOH & crabby BOH all mad at you & you caught in the middle 🥲

Host. Especially when they didn't want "n-bomb" or "f*gs" (Detroit in the 2000s).

Wine steward.

Line cook. At every place I've ever worked.

Working for Jared of Budlong wasn't the hardest but it was ridiculous. He's a douche.

Barista.

Sauté by yourself on a weekend night is also what nightmares are made of 💀

Expo.

Any time I worked for straight cis white men who are obvi alcoholics including now.

Food running. Getting screamed at by chef for something insane and having to present a dish right after.

Working for the infamous exec at Publican—most inhumane person. Lots to be said about it.

Manager at One Off. The CEO truly believed servers/bartenders were overpaid.

I was treated worse in my few days hosting than in years as bartender and manager.

Hosting.

Management—you have to stand between staff needs and ownership's lack of care for 0$.

Hosting. People were mad at me all the time, from the guests to the servers, and it's low pay.

Hosting!! Doing much of managers job with no power/respect & awful customer intcts.

Manager of rooftop pool bar at a hotel.

Server. Everyone hates you. Too many expectations and no respect.

Lead Bartender. Felt like Bar Manager with less office time & less pay.

Alinea. It's not even close. Pure evil.

Lead Host for white tablecloth. Lots of screaming & threats because you are overbooked.

Any proximity to Jen, Frontera's "HR & director of ops" iykyk. She'll do u dirty, man.

Executive Chef.

Food runner.

Host.

Serving. There's some kind of weird power dynamic flux when you bartend—people are nicer.

GM.

Being a CDC @ $15/hr.

I strongly suggest this person take 30 seconds to report this to the Federal DOL along with any evidence (old texts, calendar, anything). They will look into it and they will get their money back.

Lead anything. Lead line cook being the worst because no tip pool. 1/?

Lead bartender is close because it was basically bar manager 2/?

Restaurant couldn't afford another manager's salary 3/3

Which would've been a pay cut 4/4

1000%—multiple locations/restaurant groups.

I requested sensitivity training. My manager left up an email outlining how to fire me for 1/2

False accusations. It said to tell me it was due to lack of table touching... 2/2

I was abused by a chef and the owner told me to calm down, it's a kitchen. I didn't get the promotion.

I was docked 13k off of my salary. (I've been paid that with an apology recently. 7mo overdue.)

A man got in my face and was screaming violent threats to me in front of another manager (I was also a manager) and a few line cooks. I left because I felt so unsafe and they told me they'd fire him "if I wanted them to"—but we were so understaffed and everyone was so tired/burnt out they'd be really disappointed. He got to keep his job a few more weeks until he threatened the owner. They were very vocal about how "disappointed in me" they were for walking out that day and weren't sure I should get to keep my job.

Of course. Hours cut, given non-premium shifts after working Friday and Saturday night for a year.

Transferred to the least busy, fast-casual location in a restaurant group for reporting abuse by manager.

Yep!! Sent home without pay.

Yes, and I was fired for it during the start of COVID.

Definitely.

The Bristol / B Hospitality—ask anyone.

I voiced concerns on how we weren't following COVID protocol and was laid off.

S.K.Y.—among many other things they retaliated financially even after employees left.

I was told, "Well that's the industry and if you don't like it, maybe it's not for you."

Can confirm the Bristol & B Hospitality are terrible, luckily the Bristol closed on January 1. The Goat Group / Boka is also terrible and ignored sexual assault claims because the person could "carry a lot of dishes at once."

When I did I was gaslit—"If it was so bad why didn't u make a scene in front of customers?"

I have received hate emails and still get bullying comments regularly.

B Hospitality is known for "breaking" their managers. The reason I left the restaurant industry.

I asked for ADA accommodations and was terminated for BS days later...

Turn off the world and focus on my hobbies!

Yoga. Bed. Being around loved ones. Baths. Meditation.

Rest, eat, listen to music, have a little dance party and talk to no one!

Veg out at home / ask my partner for alone time.

Epsom salt bath, skincare routine, THC, snacks, sleep.

Travel, try new hobbies, do nothing.

Maintaining my days off as my days off; not being the emotional dumping ground for coworkers.

Saying yes to everything.

How emotionally available I allow myself to be.

Spanish speakers are treated like 2nd class citizens despite doing most of the hard work.

YT managers would rather force someone to translate for them than try 2 do it thmslvs.

I don't know Spanish and a lot of other staff are Spanish speakers so I can't interact much.

Allergies get missed because non-English speakers don't understand them. FOH catches it, but there's resentment or frustration when it has to be refired.

Free English classes and free ServSafe courses would help.

Someone's doo doo attitude has nothing to do with you?

That the industry is designed to be oppressive, to exploit and deplete workers.

The need to fortify myself when men yelled at me because I took it personally.

That the type of abuse I'm about to experience isn't OK and doesn't make me better.

Rich people expect hospitality and don't know to reciprocate it without spiral being involved.

Leaving it is really difficult.

How to manage my finances.

How easy is it to think you have to go with the "flow" (cycle of abuse to others/to one's own self).

What my health insurance is gonna look like.

That HR and management cares about the company, not you.

That I should listen to my body and speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

OMG, I missed the prompt but I wish I knew that I should save and document EVERYTHING. If I had a real record of times I've had tips and labor stolen from me, or if I had a real record of the abhorrent things that men in positions of power have said to me, I could be sitting on real lawsuit money right now.

I literally have no control—prices, other guests, the menu, whatever their complaint.

I WANT to provide good service and food. I hate it just as much as them when things go wrong.

That we need their seats if they've stopped drinking. Campers cost us money.

That I serve too many people during a shift/too much happens on a given day for me to remember them if we didn't really have a fun or cool conversation for a while. I want to have meaningful and cool conversations with guests at work but I need them to also bring something unique to the conversation for us to connect. Also my work personality is fake, please stop coming up to me when I'm out in public and expecting me to be the same—you're not tipping me for those interactions!

I probably make more than you.

Expo is not cocktailing. We all have different jobs and can't just stop to get you a beer.

Impossible for me to make room for your table with three things in my hand for you.

If I don't remember your name after I meet you once, chances are I will never remember it, ever.

How much is out of your individual control as a worker.

That if they ask me to refire their eggs on a 400-cover brunch shift they gonna WAIT.

That their great night out is at the expense of cooks and servers that haven't been able to live that lifestyle because of their demand.

Just because you like to cook at home doesn't mean my job is always fun.

How much goes into it. It's not just a quick grocery trip & fun cooking, it's nonstop work/prep.

Also, it's not my job to make your girlfriend's birthday special. You shoulda done more. I'm not your secretary.

Cooking at home does not make you a chef.

That validating every decision they make isn't part of it.

Nothing is free in this world. Every little extra thing you ask for costs $$.

I am human!

As a manager—I am not their enemy.

I really wish people knew how much yelling there was—like even to this day, when men yell at me in any kind of context, I freeze because I'm trying to decide if I'm in fight or flight. It's brutal and it's hard and we're doing our absolute best to make sure you can have something nice.

Stacking plates is rarely helpful. Your fragrance overwhelms the dining room.

It is easily 100+ degrees in the summer and I am doing my absolute best.

Service is a real job.

Ur not the only person I'm making drinks for 🙃 I promise I will get 2 you, patience helps!

Also I'm not here to entertain you. Talk to your friend/s, tf?

My knee really fucking hurts, I'm emotionally supporting all of my coworkers, and I'm wearing a mask because everyone keeps getting COVID.

That a popup isn't "just a cute event" and can't wait to visit when you have a "real restaurant."

That closing means WE'RE CLOSED.

The list goes on! But since school is out for summer: I am not your child's babysitter.

That they mean nothing to me.

That I'm doing my best.

I'm here to provide a service, not to be a servant.

The masked face we put on, behind-the-scenes pressure.

It's not glamorous or what you see on TV. It's toxic and lots of BS is normalized. Be human.

Re: all these story replies... my current story showcasing a post about how it's not solely the service worker's job to provide hospitality. It's a two-way street. "People create their own experience" is something I am reminding myself a lot at work. I think food service and hospitality could be a realistic and fulfilling career choice (not a default, "unskilled" job) if people understood this concept.

THIS!!!!!! If you're sitting at the bar expecting me to talk to you all day, you're mistaken. I've got lots of stuff to do even if there's no one else sitting at the bar.

It's been a few years since I worked for Lettuce but I loved them and the culture.

Seems 2b the only way to get health insurance as a cook. Weans out small businesses.

Their $ has brought some great talent to the city and opportunities for workers. Never have worked 4 them, have always worked small biz. Have heard questionable things.

They have all the money and power.

I've worked for several of them. Lots of thoughts.

Some are fantastic (Boka), some are hell (Alinea Group).

Not disability friendly. But then again 99% of restaurants in Chicago aren't accommodating.

Restaurant groups in any city are monopoly capitalism applied to the hospitality industry. Bad for everyone except shareholders and (maybe) top management. For example, in my city the largest restaurant group is moving to completely dominate the industry. They buy up all the talent, take up the best real estate, and co-opt the "buy local" mantra when they are really a huge hedge-fund-backed monster. Due to their near-monopoly, it is difficult to compete.

Worked for Boka and had mostly good experiences. Still some corporate bullshit but not a wild amount like I've heard from other groups. Restaurant groups or hotel chains are the only option I've found for decent healthcare as a trans person, no matter how much I'd rather work for small businesses or go out on my own, and they have more money for equipment and projects and raises 😢 It sucks but they're the most reliable jobs I've had.

Worked for Lettuce and they were actually pretty cool.

Elitist white restaurant groups always keeping minorities out of leadership ops.

One of them bought a new house from a very well-known baseball team owner while keeping skeleton crew.

The Stefani Group is the one I have the most trauma from. No benefits, "we're family" vibes while bullying.

Ballyhoo is trash. Overheard too many gross convos about employees from management.

Lettuce seemed to follow the trend: aggressive cis men in GM & EC roles while fems and queers were usually locked into hourly and FOH management. Lettuce is also slipping away from the family-focused group Rich Melman created. His sons prioritize profit and their "VIPs" (wannabe Chicago socialite friends) over staff well-being. His daughter Molly is very cool and understanding but she doesn't seem to carry as much weight. They have also made a terrible impression on the industry scene in Austin with Aba.

Alinea's "18% gratuity" covers $20/hr + health insurance for workers—FOH staff only splits anything beyond 18% (so 1% split if tip was 19%). Something worth thinking about when you realize splitting one table's tips between even a few FOH workers there would earn them more than $20/hr taxed.

As an ex LEYE, glad to be gone. Union busting is trained to managers, HR is dehumanizing, etc.

This is unrelated to the previous response! Tbh working for bigger groups has ended up providing me with more protections than working for ~local or even mid-sized groups (like Heisler lol). Smaller restaurant groups and one-off restaurants have paid me the shittiest while expecting the most emotional investment into their establishments. I don't want to work for corporations, but can't afford to not be provided healthcare or meaningful COVID relief 🙄

As a small restaurant owner I tend to agree. I always think about selling out for a bigger restaurant just so I can have the economy of scale to pay for those things for my employees without going broke myself.

Can second this. Was fired from a Ballyhoo restaurant for a BS reason days after requesting reasonable accommodations.

There was a sexual harassment incident while I was there (Ballyhoo) and the leadership was far more concerned with avoiding potential retaliation lawsuits than the well-being of the victim.

I was also fired from Ballyhoo for no stated reason. Just because! Management is terrible. They didn't care about COVID. I also saw two employees fired due to sexual harassment during my short time there.

Anti-blackness and misogynoir.

The most toxic work environment I've ever experienced.

Owners were greedy who would not give me a proper salary/benes for the amount of work.

Owners tried to force me to quit my other job, which was running a festival that I started.

Tip transparency.

Constantly micro-managed by owner after being hired to manage the business. 🙄

Low pay, rigid hours, workplace culture (!).

My body couldn't take it. Either could my soul!

Miscarriage in bathroom then back on the line, told I couldn't go home until "after the rush."

Coffee bar sold $50 choc bars yet paid under the table and misallocated tips.

My wife and I are going on vacation to visit my country and come back strong to start our own thing! 💪

They badly handled the Omicron outbreak and put folks at risk.

Overworked/underpaid. Was a manager, on call 24/7, was paid the same as the rest of the staff.

+When I asked for more $ they guilted/shamed me, increased my hours and responsibilities.

Paid more as an hourly supervisor + tips than as a salaried manager.

Our payday shifted every two weeks. Often with day of work missing from it.

Owners took cash tips for themselves from baristas 🫠

Management did not want to address abusive management because it was "inconvenient."

Toxic + exploitative owner management.

Left the industry entirely because toxic owner/mgmt + high emotional stress is the norm.

Toxic management.

Not respected, not valued.

I'm in it now; I'm constantly feeling overwhelmed, and rarely able to recharge despite sleep.

I start to micro manage each minute and absolutely lose it over 5 min delays.

Easily irritable & small stuff I normally let slide off my back make me want to cry or scream.

Irritability.

I always ALWAYS get a post nasal drip and it hits me like a train.

Feeling like I can never recover, even with time off.

Also just constant exhaustion despite how early I go to bed.

I hate the things I normally love.

I can't keep the "mask" up—I get very short with my staff and even guests.

When it feels like all I can do is think + fret about work; I can't give energy to anything else.

Losing interest in the work, and other things. Burnout often coincides w/ depression for me.

Hard to concentrate. Dread going to work. Physical issues.

When you wake up and hate your life.

When everything is overwhelming.

When you work 40 hours a week and still live paycheck to paycheck.

Becoming zoned out or frozen b.c. I'm overwhelmed by too many tasks; it is daunting.

I'm not sure that I know what it's like not to.

No idea. Would love to know though because working in hospo SO many people are burnout and don't know.

Not doing anything meaningful at home/in my free time, not eating well or enough.

Overly emotional at work.

When I start to actually dread coming into work on the daily. 😳

Apathy, irritability, tears!!!

No amount of sleep will make me feel rested. My carpal tunnel flares up at night.

FOH makes more than BOH if it's a busy night because of tips.

Misunderstanding (or straight-up refusal to see) the other's point of view.

Pay disparity, unbalanced responsibility loads, different length of shifts.

Pay disparity is wild. I left the kitchen after 15 years because I couldn't take it anymore.

I think it really depends on leadership—Chef and the GM set that tone.

Class interests.

Often treated/managed as separate teams as opposed to different parts of the same team.

Wage disparity.

Feel like sometimes it's intentional by owners—division takes focus off poor leadership.

Because a lot of people have never worked both sides so they don't get the struggles!

The perpetuation of the "lazy" FOH trope/not acknowledging emotional labor as labor.

Unfair labour expectations on BOH that get pinned on FOH.

Politics. Keeping BOH & FOH divided against each other keeps eyes off of poor & exploitative & overpaid management & ownership 🙂🙃

Leadership and pay disparities.

The difference of pay.

Management/pay discrepancies/schedules.

Refusal to hire non-women for FOH and non-men for BOH.

Easier to control in more ways than one. Divide and conquer.

Pay difference. Length of shift difference. Management doesn't try to be the bridge.

Last few jobs I had an open kitchen, emphasized teamwork, which helped. Pay differences an issue. Busy nights FOH made more, but quieter nights BOH more. None got enough $.

Wage disparity is ignored or normalized.

Racial disparities.

Gaslighting by owners and managers who benefit from BOH and FOH being opposed.

Gaslighting that keeps FOH AND BOH from organizing for better conditions for everyone.

Many BOH people dream of a career in food. Many FOH folx see it as a stopgap.

Many places I worked we had entirely diff management and scheduling, 2 sep worlds.

I hide my mental illness as much as possible.

Have hid mental illness due to bosses losing trust in me.

Most of it, find it so hard to be myself at work.

I hide my sexuality from my employees.

Everything, my feelings and I even downplay my gender.

My socialism.

I've had to hide being SA'd by a coworker.

Def a privilege to do so but I refuse to hide parts of myself at work now (1/2)

(2/2) I used to hide parts of my identity and can't bring myself to do it any more.

Can def be detrimental but ultimately gives me more peace of mind.

Political views—democratic socialism/anti-capitalism was received poorly.

Physical health issues.

My Autism. Even when people are kind I can tell that they patronize/look at me diff.

I'm open with the staff I lead about my sexuality & mental illness, but not my bosses.

Being trans! I get misgendered on the daily by guests and coworkers alike.

I was open with my chefs and managers but did not feel safe with coworkers.

ADHD, gay, depression, anxiety, hmm what else.

Softness.

My penchant for dark jokes.

My personal financial situation.

As much as possible. Boundaries, as long as it remains an exploitative system.

My sexuality and being in an open marriage. Personal politics usually.

Chronic illness symptoms.

Only came out as trans when I left the restaurant because saw my friend do it and it went v badly.

Was fired for pointing out ADA accommodations mishandled... so that 🤷🏻‍♂️

All parts.

Substance use issues.

Being queer.

My head but mostly behind my eyes. Sometimes they get blurry if I'm too stressed.

My jaw.

Tension in my neck and shoulders.

Jaw tension!

Huge knots in my shoulders and tightness in my hips.

Teeth grinding. It wakes my partner. I spit out pieces of tooth some days.

10.

Definitely close to a 10.

It took 2 years & a pandemic to untie my identity from my job (after 7 years working there).

8-10.

But the pandemic has lowered it to a 6-7 cause I can see a future where I don't have to be.

10.

8ish.

10.

8. Mostly b/c of the visceral reaction I get when seeing ppl behave badly in public.

8.

5—I'm getting post grad education so I'm not taken srsly even as a full time cook, "you're leaving us."

10, after pandemic now a 5.

Before the pandemic, 9. Now, 6.

9 unfortunately.

9 pre-pandemic, not sure now. Since I'm going back to further my education.

7.

7.

9.

10.

9.

Used to be a 10. Now it's closer to a 6! Thx to the pandemic I'm better able to focus on community/me.

Waaaaay too much. 10.

Waaaaay too much. 10.

0. I'm done.

A year ago it would be 10. Now it is like a 4.

Like 5 or 6 maybe.

8.

8-10, met partner & most friends, social life revolve(d) around bars/rest.

Used to be ten, had a kid, now a 7.5.

9.

6. I've been pretty good about setting boundaries.

8.

It used to be an 8 but I took a burnout break about 6 years ago and now I try to keep it sep.

And it was closer to a 3/4 before panny but organizing has gotten me back in some.

9.

8.

Prior to leaving, I would've said 7. Now, looking back? 10. Totally lost my sense of self after leaving.

It's been a year since I last worked professionally and it's down to an 8, from a 10.

Pre-panda 9, now... 7ish and trying to get to a 5.

1.

7.

Use to be 8-10, then I had an epiphany decided to no longer tie my identity to how I make $.

4.

Wow. 10. Easily. It's become my life.

6 but in my 20's it was 10+ working on getting to know myself again.

7.

8.

6.

4/5 for myself. I don't want to look like I'm being crazy or sensitive. 8 for others.

10. I talk too much.

8-9. I'm afraid of losing my job, but I will NOT be abused by my job.

I've been nicknamed the "death of fun" because I call people out constantly. Didn't 1/2

Used to but I realized I wouldn't take it towards me or others anymore. 2/2

So... 10! 😬

Myself - 2, others - 8.

11. Sometimes I think I should take a step back and make space for others.

8.

8/9.

6.

6? I'm speaking in retrospect tho, not a current gig.

Depends on the work culture, generally more comfy standing up for others.

8.

10.

10.

2.

6—I'll probably think about it for a while and then say something to staff.

7.

9. Thanks to the help of accounts like yours. Used to be a 3.

I used to think yes cause I don't take work home. But I bring trauma, dehydration, hunger, aches, etc.

No. I have to constantly push back and create healthy boundaries for myself.

I have a long answer lol—I think there's a big variation, and you have to have a little self discipline in order to make sure it's balanced. You rarely have to/it's almost impossible to "take your work home" (except for the emotional toll it takes on you), but depending on the restaurant it can be a slippery slope with covering shifts/getting called in/staying past your shift.

My off days actually being "on call" days makes it impossible to mentally clock out.

No—I would have nightmares of busy shifts. Emotional labor of work is also 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

No. It got worse as my career progressed.

It's pretty impossible working 50-60 hours a week.

Absolutely not. I worked a 13hr double with no break and my bosses just shrugged it off.

I have a longer answer as well. I worked a 13hr double and my manager, from the morning shift, told me to hurry up and checked out so she could go home; told me to give away my tables or do what I had to do to switch on to the next shift. Didn't offer to give me time to eat, didn't offer to let me sit down for 5 minutes. Nothing. Then later on they allowed the bartender to take a break 4 hrs into her shift, she got to sit down, eat and take a smoke break, while I was told to hurry up and get on with work. Best part is, it doesn't matter if I tell my managers because they won't care. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Hahhahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Obligations outside of work (school, 2nd job) build a resentful environment.

Yes.

Definitely. The ritual is hanging out post shift with a shift drink. Is not quite as appealing w/o 1.

YES.

Yes.

Knee jerk answer—yes.

Yesss. Been talking about how drinking with coworkers after a shift is a form of trauma bonding.

Yes! For the most part, I've been substance free while on furlough.

YES. FOH wore me down way more than BOH bc people.

Not at work, but immediately after work, yes.

Never at work but after... though no substances can fix a shitty work environment!

A coworker and I used to have "mimosa breaks" during busy brunch shifts.

Definitely. Pre-during-post shifts shots, depending on the boss, pre-during-post shift bumps.

Not at work, but I definitely medicate before and/or after (medical marijuana patient 🙏).

Obviously.

Microdosing shrooms before work 😬.

Cocaine was the only way I could get through 18 hour shifts.

Cigarettes. Cigarettes cigarettes cigarettes.

Yes. Before going to work and then immediately after.

Injuries, chronic pain, general exhaustion.

The palms of my hands ache sometimes.

I've had worse acne than when I was a teenager: stress, dehydration, disordered eating, etc.

10-12 hour days have not been kind to my joints. 1 year since laid off & I notice the difference.

My feet are literally misshapen from standing in clogs all day.

My hands are dry, cracked and bleeding from dishes, gloves and sanitizer.

Back & shoulder pain, severe weight fluctuations, malnourishment during an open.

Almost having stress fractures from sautéing with heavy pots.

Foot pain that no shoe or insole can help, weight/eating issues.

Chronic back pain and fucked up feet, poor sleeping habits, heightened stress responses.

I have arthritis and chronic back pain.

Weight fluctuations, inconsistent menstruations, and chronic wrist pain.

Chronic body pain, stress dreams, just stress in general lol.

Cuts, burns, back/feet pain, mental/physical abuse, shift sleep.

The rhythm of my appetite is perpetually screwy from not eating ~4pm-11pm on shift.

Bunions & body discomfort, unhealthy binge eating & alcohol habits, poor sleep schedule.

Exhaustion, arthritis, spider veins.

Oooo buddy. So much back pain 😣 but also calves of steel.

Herniated disk (had back surgery), joint pain, alcoholism, severe weight fluctuations.

Plantar fasciitis, carpal tunnel, sciatica, and MIGRAINES!!!!

Permanent damage to my elbows and ulnar nerve from repetitive stress.

4 :(

4.

Guest 8, manager 3 lol :(

Lately like an 8/9. I'm tired 😫

10.

5.

Barely a 2.

6.

2, it is actively discouraged.

5.

6.

10 but then I get backlash.

6.

1.

I've been told by managers before that I couldn't say the word "no" to a guest, and saying no to a manager meant I wasn't a "team player," and that I could probably expect some sort of covert retribution for doing so (cut hours, less profitable shifts, etc.).

I think it also is that I have to work with/deal with the repercussions of potentially pissing off a manager, whereas with guests it's easier to roll off my back because hopefully they'll be gone in an hour and maybe I'll never have to see them again! Lol

Nope, worked in my previous for 2 years and just left bc of this.

No.

In the past, yes.

Noooooooope! But sink or swim we will!

Almost never.

For once, yes. Further training and plenty of accommodations for my personal life. S/o Garage Bar.

My current job yes & I actually covet the autonomy I have now. But for all jobs prior, heck no.

When my boss says "we need to talk" without giving context.

1) Rude/inappropriate guests 2) If I am not supported against them.

My boss being passive aggressive and unprofessional.

Low pay + high expectations.

Inconsistent hours.

Constant criticism, inconsistent info/directions, not having enough people or resources for a task.

Deescalation policies that require police involvement.

Passive aggressive mgmt. Just tell me what you want.

Work.

Lack of leadership from management.

Shitty guests!!!

They don't manage resos properly and my entire section gets flat sat each turn.

When easy tasks are made harder by bad communication and a lack of simple systems.

Reactive, passive aggressive, condescending, and incompetent management.

When the laziest and meanest employees are promoted to management.

Understaffing or labor costs.

Lack of training or listening to ideas from employees who can handle their job well.

Ego.

Bad management.

Managers/owners sleeping with staff.

Talking to people being mistreated at work but not being able to help because of labor laws.

The emotional labor, especially when my pay depends on the whims of guests.

The emotional labor involved in being the problem solver for everyone (guests/coworkers).

Getting into character when dealing with challenges in our personal lives.

Not being able to socialize with loved ones as easily, not knowing how much I'll make on a given day.

Multitask.

Being able to use the restroom.

How difficult it is to control my tone of voice reminding ppl about something for the 12th time.

Girl hahahahaha. It's isolating.

Exhausting, double standards for time off and promotion.

Whiplash, mom to worker, early cuts, late schedules, clopens.

Double work, double standards, lack of real opportunities, exhausting & nerve wrecking.

Yes, at first... Then you become disposable right quick.

Not even a little bit.

Yes, until our family becomes an "inconvenience" due to illness, babysitter issue, etc.

As a whole, no. Perhaps 1% of places but it's a very rare find.

When they need to schedule someone, sure.

Initially, for the food.

I've seen establishments prey on them for PT and cuts because "they've got kids."

I don't think so but I wonder what my YT cis male coworkers would say?

No. Even part time is a struggle.

With enough hard boundaries and a million side hobbies, it CAN be.

You make of it what you want to make of it; a lot of problems come from miscommunication.

Someone trained in peer support.

Grief support, stress reduction & management.

It's so hard to think of an answer because I've never really had any @ work!

Manager agreeing not to schedule me during my weekly therapy.

Conflict resolution and sensitivity, really all the goddamn training.

From a former GM: extensive training on union bargaining contracts, there are some of us that want to make it better but petty, complacent, lazy workers knew how to work the system.

Deescalation, conflict resolution.

How to be a manager.

Leadership skills, or people skills.

How to receive feedback and not take it as a threat to their power.

Soft skills and mentoring. Every manager I had in restaurants made me feel disposable.

Harassment/conflict, wage and scheduling laws, heat & safety.

Deescalation.

How to advocate and empower the most marginalized members of staff, how to build trust + communication.

Spanish.

Professional boundaries and ethics tbh.

De-escalation training, first aid training, financial training and real training in all roles they oversee.

De-escalation for starters.

Communication skills/conflict resolution.

Conflict resolution with DEI lens!

DEI.

Relationship building and how to give feedback in a way that can create mentorship rather than breaking people down.

Whoever said Spanish, I agree! I wish my Spanish was better!

Maintaining employee engagement and avoidance of toxic positivity.

How to be a manager. Take feedback from workers. LISTEN!

Spanish.

Removing "aggressive employees/seniority" act as managers environment/privilege.

How to interact with neurodivergent people.

Give breaks, add benefits.

Transparency! More organized scheduling that makes sense.

Proper management training. Managers should be trained on empathy and staff diversity.

Promote me.

Get in the trenches! Clear, dishes, take the table that made me cry. 😭

Less hours.

Equity!

PTO.

Include employees in decision making, make them part of the creative process, listen to them.

Benefits that include MENTAL HEALTH COVERAGE!

Invest in mental education/training, acknowledge past mistakes.

Actually listen to staff!

The business owner is always saying he wants to "be the best employer." Well then listen to us!

Consider a worker-owned structure.

Stop giving me other people's jobs to do.

Set and hold boundaries. Management will step on your face if you let them.

Get to know your coworkers & make a genuine effort.

Find ways that work for you to keep work at work, and protect your peace at home.

When things seem wonky, be sure to document them in some way and then speak up.

Leave the bullshit at the door. Don't take it home with you. Put boundaries up right away.

Do the barest minimum you can get away with, and don't take alcohol offers at your workplace.

Always have something outside of work to look forward to, don't make work your identity.

Above all, hold yourself accountable for your mistakes. And mind your business.

Remember that everyone is selfish and lazy (guests/coworkers)—you don't have to be.

Everything is simple tasks so don't let anything upset you.

Research first. Stay far away from Warlord and Trevor Fleming.

Not everyone understands how much effort you put in so don't always expect to be praised.

Don't drink at work.

Boundaries. If you don't set them, nobody else will.

Alcohol is not a form of payment.

Do not forget the way people make you feel, document and trust your gut.

Ask as early as possible how a new job handles raises and act accordingly. If a job does cost-of-living raises only, do not do extra work or work harder than your pay grade. If raises are performance based, ask how frequently you will be evaluated (can be 3mo, 6mo, or yearly). Be ready to have to remind your manager to evaluate you and you will likely have to ask for a raise. Come in at a high number and be ready to negotiate. Restaurants will rarely give raises without being asked, so you have to advocate for yourself.