Unpacking The Stigma Of Mental Health In Hospitality
Whether it's the barback who is drunk again, the one cook who swears every time you bring him a guest accommodation request, or the server who can't make it more than an hour without a cigarette break, in the traditional restaurant, none of these are handled with care as signs of a person who needs mental health support.
Restaurant workers deserve comprehensive mental health support just like we require health insurance, fair pay, and time off. Our work is physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding. We must perform often repetitive, physically demanding tasks while also anticipating the needs and emotional state of everyone around us, coworkers and guests alike.
Reading a table before they've said a word. Absorbing a manager's bad mood so it doesn't reach the guests. Smiling through a slur. This is emotional labor, and in most restaurants, it's simply the job description nobody wrote down. Our positions require us to regulate our own emotions to keep everyone else happy, often to our detriment.
Hospitality is built on caring for strangers, yet the people doing the caring rarely get it back. Journalist Gemma Hartley describes this as "the unpaid, often unnoticed labor that goes into keeping those around you comfortable and happy."
“Taking on emotional baggage from management or abuse from guests and being unable to relieve that stress until the end of the night or when I get home. = alcoholism”
“I have to anticipate and manage the needs and energy of guests, coworkers, management, etc. aka have a higher vigilance.”
(Responses from our Questions of the Day)
Restaurant work is devalued labor. We see it internally in the low pay, the long hours, the lack of traditional employment benefits like health insurance or PTO. External factors compound it too: comments like "when are you getting a real job?", the assumption that only teenagers and college students work in restaurants, and cultural norms like pushing through necessary breaks, skipping meals, or gritting our teeth through physical pain or a racist comment from a guest; all of it feeds the devaluation of our work as hospitality professionals.
Mental health support isn't separate from fair pay and healthcare; it's part of the same. Suffocating your own feelings for the sake of others can have long-term effects such as fatigue, burnout, depression, and even reliance on alcohol and other substances to regulate emotions.
“Managing my white coworkers' feelings when I experience racism.”
“Navigating around the chefs' moods.”
“Having to hold in my anger and frustration without an outlet to express it at work.”
(Responses from our Questions of the Day)
The current norm in our industry for coping with the burnout of overworking and a stressful shift is often to indulge in substances. In many cases, the culture at our restaurant or bar even encourages this or offers it as an award or incentive– the shift drink at the end of a brutal Friday, the round poured "on the house" after close.
When that becomes the only outlet offered, the consequences aren't abstract:
“I was fired from two different jobs because my performance "declined"... ...while my teenage daughter was going through mental breakdowns.”
“I was clearly not myself, the first job knew the second didn't but also never asked what was going on 🤷🏻♀️”
“Brushed over/ignored substance use issues. Bad for the individual, compounds on team.”
(Responses from our Questions of the Day)
None of this has to be inevitable. What would it actually look like to do better? We asked workers what support from their employers would actually mean something, not gestures, but structural change.
Start with the basics: consistency and respect.
“If I say I need a day off for my mental health, I need it like I need a day with the flu. It matters.”
“Provide an opportunity to rest and recuperation DURING busy shifts.”
“Basic communication, reasonable and clear expectations of the role.”
“The best thing they can do is create an environment that is pleasurable to be in.”
Access matters too, not just goodwill, but real pathways to care:
“Offer resources to find therapists in network/or affordable ones.”
And maybe the sharpest point of all, mental health support isn't a wellness perk, it's a living wage:
“I want my employer to understand that nothing has a greater impact on mental health than whether or not your material needs are being met — paying people BETTER than a living wage is worth a thousand times more than any mental health seminar or pizza party or (unpaid) mental health day or whatever.”
(Responses from our Questions of the Day)
This isn't only about what a shift supervisor says at a pre-shift meeting. It's about scheduling, pay structure, and whether the people running these businesses are willing to treat burnout as a business problem, not just a personal failing.
Change doesn't only come from inside the restaurant. Community organizations are already doing work that the industry hasn't caught up to yet. Connecting workers to them is part of the job ahead of us.
Chicago Therapy Collective is one of our community partners doing this work. They provide accessible, sliding scale or free, affirming mental health care, education, and community support for LGBTQ+ people across Illinois, one piece of the broader network of care this industry needs.
The Southern Smoke Foundation has two programs to support restaurant workers across the nation. Behind You, access to no-cost counseling for food and beverage workers in California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and Washington D.C. Emergency Relief, year-round emergency grants available to food and beverage workers for unforeseen crises, funds have been used for groceries, clothing, and medications, the cost of rent, utilities, lost wages, and more.
If this piece hits home, share it with your team, ask how your restaurant supports its people. The culture only changes when we stop treating silence as the cost of doing business.
